im pissed. its so not me today

i hate it really. i mean, i wanted to play nicely today, cuz my day was enjoyed in the early afternoon with timothy and the others during their match with the bishan east group.. after the match and all, everyone was joking.. and we had loads of jokes going around. then, played full court basketball with some CHINA GUYS! DAMMIT! mind if i use vulgarities here pls. i was really pissed.. the way they pushed and hooked ur legs and steal ur basketball from your hands are really so called "sickening". one of them, nudged me with his hands from the back. WTH! ITS F****ing painful. and i literally flew forward. and they played so rough.. even some of them were pissed.. i jus hate it. then, i was really angry, and pissed, i decided not to play, but i wore my slippers, i ran home, wore my shoes, and ran down again. i went for a really hectic run, 4 rounds, and after that, i felt so restless.. i din have mood for anything after that. cuz the run was to get me out of the stupid game and the problems i was thinking.. its kinda really DUMB! really! cuz i really had no way to solve it. but do it that way, torture myself using running. and besides, i ran, i had stitches in the left side i guess.. i was in pain but i jus ran and ran and ran.. i din care at all. then leonard was on someone's bike, he saw me, asked: wad you doing? i said.. RUNNING?! lol.. and i ran off. then went i finish my rounds, he was already away. sigh, then, went to do 50 sit ups.. feel the sore all around me.. i really cant handle the problems in my head. then, timothy came sat beside me, and asked if im okay, i said i dono.. cuz i don even know wad my mind was thinking, wad more, why i looked so sian. sigh it was more of torturing myself today.

wad more, got home, bathed, ate dinner, then sat for awhile to watch tv, then he asked me to give my smaller dog the remaining food on the table, i said why don u give cuz u always give him.. then he screamed at me, saying im lazy and all still wanna keep dog, then still said im some jinx.. WTF?? i was really angry, he doesn't know wad wrong he did to me and my sis over the volley matter. then went to walk my dog, timothy came down to accompany me, asked wad happened to me, and i todl him all the things, its like, my mood affected him also. i felt so bad! really, its more of drowning him with my problems now.. sigh! then, he has to go, so he wnet off without me, then came earnest, alex and ivan, so i talked to them for quite long then went off home. then, my dad complained over small matter again, come and make noise over those stuff bout my dog and all. kick a stupid F***ing fuss bout it, then say all thsoe mean things at me. WTH? i really was angry enough, then he came to add oil and fire, threatening to me in chinese: you don wish that i'll buy anything for you, want it? wait slowly! LIKE WTF! he already caused so much trouble in volley matter then now this.. wad more he wan? u know, i havent been talking to him for ALMOST a week after wad has happened 2 weeks ago. it was so depressing to me. i hate it.. and cause of wad he did to me, i won forget. and i'll eventually hate him more. cuz the hatred grew more.

i was jus having my piece of quiet jus now as i walked my dog, i jus sat, and watched the guy infront of me shooting hoops non stop, i didn't know wad my mind was running through bout.. i kept quiet for very long, and timothy jus sat there so quiet too. he was affected by me i think. my quiet didn't do me good today, i still did not get over wad i was thinking, and wad to do for some..


cuz i think i'll remain this way. i want my quiet.

12/28/2008 12:03:00 AM ·